No, You Can't Just Change the Locks

It is one of the most common flashpoints in a separation. Tempers flare, and one spouse decides to settle it overnight by locking the other out, removing their belongings, or cutting off the water and electricity. It feels decisive. It is also, in most cases, against the law.

Both spouses have a right to be there

While a marriage still exists, both spouses generally have the right to occupy the matrimonial home. That right does not disappear because one name is on the title deed, and it does not disappear because the relationship has broken down. Only a court can decide who stays and who goes. See Two Names on One Deed.

Taking the law into your own hands backfires

If you lock a spouse out, the law does not ask who owns the house first. It asks whether you took the law into your own hands. A spouse who has been shut out can go to court and obtain an order, called a spoliation order, that simply restores them to the home, regardless of who owns it. The ownership argument comes later. In short, the lockout usually fails, and it makes the locker look bad.

What you cannot do to force a spouse out

• Change the locks or bar the doors while they are away.
• Remove or dump their belongings.
• Cut off the water, electricity or other services to drive them out.
• Sell or dispose of the home out from under an occupying spouse without proper process.

What you can do instead

If you genuinely need the other person to leave, for your safety or the children's, the answer is to ask a court, not to act alone. A court can grant exclusive occupation of the home or other protection where it is justified. Where there is violence or fear, that should be raised urgently and directly. For everything else, a calm, structured separation settles the home far better than a midnight lockout. See What Is Collaborative Divorce and Dividing the Matrimonial Home.